He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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