Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
