The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Less talking, more tequila
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
