How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
