her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
