He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
