mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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