I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
