It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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