I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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