can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
