Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
