So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
