dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
