We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
