My first STD was from a foam party
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
