If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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