I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
