How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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