THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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