How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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