i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
