the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
soo... how was my night?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
