Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
