It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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