I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
