I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
