the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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