trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
