if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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