NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
