I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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