Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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