He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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