At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
