They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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