True but thats because hes a fetus.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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