me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
