I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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