Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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