Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
