I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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