mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
