I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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