How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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