If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
