so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
