I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
