those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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