I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
